Sunday, 31 October 2010

Samhain Blessings.

Blessings to you all for a magical Samhain.

For Pagans Samhain marked the end of their year and was a time of reflection on the year past and the one to come. I feel very reflective today and will light some candles and think forward to the coming year and some new beginnings.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

A little in love.

On Tuesday we took a little trip to Devon. Land of snarly trees, magical landscapes

and inspiration. I can see now where some of my blogging friends who live here get their inspiraition from. I'm almost brimful after just one day.

The weather was not kind to us and I lost my way a couple of times adding an extra hour on to what ended up as a 10 hour round trip.

Finally, tired and hungry, we reached our goal, and added a new member to our family. This little guy threw himself at us when we arrived and was just so eager to come away with us, that we knew we'd found our special pup. He's a 'pocket lurcher' which is much smaller than standard lurchers and he is a Whippet/Bedlington cross.

He slept for the entire journey home, only waking at a Service Station to use his puppy toilet!

After a mad charge around the kitchen and a small supper, he snuggled into his new bed,

and stayed there pretty much all night. What a great little dog.

I think you could say that we are all more than a little in love, although Arnie cat is less than impressed. We've kept pup and cats separate for now and the arrangement seems to suit them all :)

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Beauty and happiness.

Sometimes beauty can be found at the most unlikely time. The same could be said for happiness.

After dropping the children at school, I decided to take a short drive past the lake. I almost crashed at the wonderful sight of the mist rising from the lake surface. I parked the car and grabbed my camera.

I fell wonderfully in love with these darling little coots. They aren't much smaller than my hens and are birds that I've so often overlooked. Up close though, they are lovely. Their beaks have the faintest tinge of pink and their legs are an amazing green/gold colour. They aren't just plain black either, their colours are varying shades of grey to black. As I sat very still, they moved around me with a boldness I've never witnessed before rather than the shy and scurrying birds they seem to be.

As I walked around the lake a deep stillness settled within my chest.

I think it was happiness.

It was most certainly peace.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Living with fear!

After taking the difficult decision to leave my job at the school, I felt that life could return to normal. That I could get back to the person I'd been but had neglected. Sadly the Universe had other ideas and plans laid out for me and my life at the moment is far from normal. When I stepped off the old wheel, I didn't realise that it was to be a totally new wheel that I'd find myself on, rather than a previous safe and settled one.

Most mornings I wake up and feel the fear in the pit of my stomache. I take a while for it to settle, for me to acknowledge it and feel it fully as I ease myself into the day. I'm not hiding from this fear any more or distracting myself with hyperactive excesses. I'm dealing with each individual part of it as I open a dialogue between my reasoning mind and the irrational feelings that threaten to engulf me.
I'm afraid of making the wrong choices, but we can only work with what we know or feel at the time. So choices, made carefully, are simply what they are, neither right or wrong, even though not everyone will agree with them.
I'm afraid of the future, well, so are a great many people, but we all have to move forwards and I choose to do it bravely.
As each fear surfaces, I try to handle it, to calm it with reasoning and rational thought. I'm so tired from the effort but I feel more alive than I have done for a good long time.

I spent some time with the ponies yesterday, calmed my erratic heartbeat and stilled my nerves so that I could carry on with the day. As I drove home, I watched the rain clouds pour over the hill ahead and then suddenly this beautiful rainbow lit up the sky. It gave me such terrific hope!

And then this morning, as I sipped my tea, my darling little Max staggered into the bedroom, exhausted from scaling the stairs. By all rights this old boy should have left me long ago, but I'm so grateful for his company now. Each day feels like his last and each new one feels like a gift :D

I would like to add, that in due course I'll be less cryptic about my circumstances, but for now I'll reassure you that my health is good and life goes on.x

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Lovely things!

My dear little Arnold loves the blue patchwork quilt. He has a little 'mote' by his eye. Some people think these are fairies caught on film and it's more than likely that Arnold has a few fairies around him :D

My gorgeous new glass topped pins in one of my home made pin cushions.

Just a couple of the things I've snapped today with my new old camera!

Thursday, 14 October 2010


At last I have a working camera now. Tomorrow expect pictures :D

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Still, quiet darkness.

I love the pre-dawn darkness, the secret silence of it as the World turns closer to the wakening. In these quiet moments of solitude I sit in my bedroom, lit by a candle, gathering my thoughts to me as I weave together the strands for the coming day. My little piebald cat, old and saggy like bagpuss pressed against my legs, purring so very softly into the patchwork quilt.

The buttery candlelight creates a glamour that no lightbulb ever could and I savour these minutes as I savour my tea. Long, slow sips of magic.

Friday, 8 October 2010

The return of - ME!

At long, long last I've made some big decisions and it's time now to get on with living the life that is true to me. I feel that My ideals were put on hold for a while as I struggled to reconcile my working life with a life of simplicity. I've discovered a lot about myself and where compromises had to be made which areas of my life I was prepared to change and which things I simply couldn't give up!

Now, however, I've had to leave my job at the school, leave people that I enjoy working with and above all, some very special and wonderful children. I've been so upset but have had tremendous support from my co-workers and a pretty great boss and now can only move forward with hope for a stress free remainder of the year.

I won't stop working though, my direction will change back to embrace my ideals and I'm going to throw myself into my art work. Plans have had to change. Money will be tight, but hopefully not for long too long :D